My tips on stopping alien abductions

I was a pain in the aliens side. They hated me. The reason, I was knowledgable. It was a blessing and a curse. The joke among my high school friends was, whichever alien drew the short straw got to come and try to abduct me. I want to give you some of my personal tips and thoughts for avoiding alien abduction. I was not abducted once every three months. For me, it was nightly. Some aliens were good and I didn't mind those. Its the bad aliens I want to focus on. The biggest tip I can give is sleep with your bedroom light on. The aliens are sneaky, they like the dark. Sleeping with the light on means they don't know if you are awake or asleep. They won't risk it. They will not enter your bedroom in the first place. Sleep with a flashlight beside your bed. This is so if the power goes out you have immediate access. I have a literal panic attack during power outages. I suggest shining the flashlight near your windows and doors during a power outage, let them know you are awake. The next item by your bed is a baseball bat. I can recall killing aliens with it. The biggest thing here, surprise. Warning, this is a double edged sword and be careful. Swing at aliens, not family members. Listen for a soft hum during the day. What this is, its the aliens way of telling your body you are going to be abducted that night. Prepare, stay up late. Trust your instincts, if you get that creepy, somethings watching me feeling for goodness sakes do not investigate. I will tell you that one thing I do, stay put. In other words don't open your bedroom door. An example, one night a drink in my bedroom started doing the Jurassic Park thing. This strange humming noise, vibration is coming from outside. I literally hear my neighbor, who is over 80 running back and forth in his place, from his front door to his back. Lastly, I hear what can only be described as two aliens talking on my patio in a language not from this planet. Did I investigate? Heck No! I'm not curious. Face you bed towards windows. When I moved into my current place we set up my bed on a wall facing the windows. One of my friends looks at me and says, its so you can see the aliens coming, right? Right! I made a deal with the aliens at a young age. I suggest making this deal. If you will erase my memory, I promise never to get hypnotized. Most abductions leak back as dreams. Your brain can't cope with the trauma so you recall it subconsciously. Abduction dreams are very different from normal dreams. You are recalling a memory. Video tape yourself sleeping. It won't stop the aliens, but I do everything I can to tick them off. Cover your entry points. Aliens like to enter through glass. Cover your windows. The thicker the object used, the less chance of abduction. I also used a tactic while I was abducted to get the aliens to abduct me less. I screamed out my phone number when I was able. I did this with other abductees present. They started abducting just me. Steal something from them. I did this when I was five. It was a stick that created an absolute feeling of Euphoria. It was a toy to them. I had it one day. To this day, I just have to think about it and my whole body gets Euphoric. These tactics worked on the greys, but in general aliens like to catch you sleeping. Trick them into thinking your awake.